Sometimes, If You’re Not Willing To Take A Risk, You Don’t Get The Reward

Back in my college days, I fell neatly into the category of young ladies who effectively filled a person's requirement for a companion or a younger sibling, however never for a sweetheart. I was fixated on sports, at that point working the night shift and composing sports for a daily newspaper, wildly autonomous, and a long distance from what one may characterize as hotness. So, it appeared to be that I was a real hoot to hang with, yet potentially not high on the scale of alluring young females to date. It's OK; a decade later I've dealt with it, I guarantee. Truly. 

I say all of that so you will have the background for the story I am about to tell. It includes the most bizarre thing anyone has at any point said to me and the most delightful thing anyone has at any point accomplished for me. At the same time. 

It was late around evening time in a Starbucks parking part. At least in my college years, Starbucks parking parts were somewhat where things went down. It was warm in that thick summer night way, the sort of heat that you sort of swim through, the sort that catches at smells and magnifies them. In this case, espresso lingered palpably, sweet and nutty. Voices and laughter came in waves as the Starbucks' entryway opened and shut. I stood outside my car after a long evening of chatting with companions and waited. 

It couldn't be any more obvious, it was the last time I was meeting with a gathering of 20-year-olds that was organized through a local church. We met week by week at Starbucks however took summers off, which meant that I would be probably not going to encounter any of the other individuals until September. They were companions, however just as in our kinships were established in our week by week gatherings. The catch was, as these things will in general go, there was "this person." This particular one was charming, had an accent, and was the perfect amount of ridiculous to make me figure I may have a shot with him. We got along great, and I had started to get the energy that he may be into me. Here's the place where I let you in on that my "flows" at the time were quite undependable. 

Right. So I was standing at my car. He was parked one spot over, and we stood there semi-awkwardly as I attempted to give him sufficient opportunity to ask me out. If it was truly going to happen, he and I both realized it had to be currently. We streamed through the last conceivable stream of small talk, opened our cars, started to move into our driver's seats, and exactly when the proverbial and literal entryway was shutting, he went to me. 

"Hello " 

"Indeed?" 

"Kiss a ton of young men this mid year!" 

And he was no more. Entryway shut, motor started, parking parcel vacated. What. Just. Happened. 

I drove home in a moderate wrath. What did he mean by that? Kiss a ton of young men this late spring? How could he believe that was even distantly the correct comment? Regardless of whether he wasn't going to ask me out, at least he was unable to say that! What was his concern? What was dig for enjoying him in any case? 

I stewed on his parting words for a decent significant time-frame. However, as the mid year heat rose, I gradually chilled off. Everybody realizes that falling in affection affects two individuals, some way or another miraculously sharing the same sentiments about each other. Clearly, we didn't. There was nothing I could do about that. 

However, what actually maddened me was the fact that I had gone through several years smashing on this person. We would float all through each other's lives, and each time we reconnected, I would think, maybe. However there was never a maybe on his end, not close at all. I guaranteed myself that the following time I met a fellow and started putting my sentiments in him, I wouldn't waste years trusting he would make a move. 

June consumed off and my other companions got back from college. I had graduated a semester earlier in the colder time of year, yet presently the entire group had caught up. Perhaps my closest companion from secondary school came home and welcomed me to go to a BBQ with her. That's the place where I met Jim. My initial attraction to him was simply physical. He was c-u-t-e. Then, our circles abruptly began to meet constantly. The more I ran into this Jim fellow, the more I loved him. Maybe he would ask me out. Maybe. Wait. No. No, no, no, no. 

There is a second in life when you have to choose if you will bounce off the cliff. For certain individuals, that means taking a risk at work, or stopping college, or moving crosscountry. My cliff was Jim, and when I hopped, I made myself amazingly emotionally vulnerable. 

Jim was quite bashful and jumped at the chance to do things the correct way. That meant taking his time before he asked a young lady out. That didn't really accommodate my vision of our relationship, however, so I asked for his telephone number one evening. He obliged, and while we began to message and got along great, he actually didn't ask me out. A month passed. Then one evening, we were hanging out with companions and went through the usual dance of talking and being a tease until we said farewell. Still not so much as a trace of a date invitation. Along these lines, I bounced off the cliff. I headed to a Starbucks (a different one than back in June … like I said, a ton went down at Starbucks back then), requested an espresso, and formed a text. 

"Things being what they are, I'm simply inquisitive … are you believing we're companion material or more than companion?" 

I waited. And waited. An hour ticked by. Really at that time did I realize I had no signal in the Starbucks and the message had not sent. Cunning individual. I moved outside, the message sent, and an answer followed a couple of moments later. He didn't feel this was the kind of thing we should message about. Could we meet at some point that week to talk? 

I'll spare you the long beautiful romantic tale that follows. To put it plainly, we met in a park and took a long walk. He said he figured we ought to foster a more grounded fellowship before we dated. I said I was stuffed with companions and wasn't particularly keen on moving into the dearest companion zone with him. He didn't focus on anything that day, however the following day, he asked me out. He proposed not exactly a year later. Six years into our marriage, I remind him regularly that I without any help dragged him into the best marriage either of us might have at any point dreamed up. You're gladly received, Jim. 

And that brings us back around to the most delightful thing anyone has at any point accomplished for me. Back in the Starbucks parking parcel, as a person with an adorable accent told me to "kiss a great deal of young men this mid year," it seemed like absolute bottom of my life. Not because he meant to hurt me, but since he didn't want me. What I didn't realize was that at that time, I would foster the purpose I expected to reject anything not exactly a profound relationship with my next crush. 

I learned an important example that evening. That sometimes, if you're not willing to take a risk, you don't get the reward. Thus, thanks, Starbucks fellow. And incidentally, I kissed one kid that late spring. As yet kissing him today.

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